Peer-to-Peer Support
"Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it's a good place to start."
- Jason Collins
Need Support
Let us know you are interested in joining us for a meeting
For over three decades, Indianapolis PFLAG has supported families and allies in need through peer-to-peer meetings, online outreach, and telephone hotlines. If you are interested or need peer-to-peer support services in the Indianapolis area, you or a loved one can contact us directly by submitting the form below.
My child came out… What do I do?
You’re likely reading this section of our site because your loved one has come out as LGBTQ+. Meaning they have shared with you/or others close to them that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, nonbinary, queer, or questioning (LGBTQ+). We recommend reading the information below and joining us at an Indy PFLAG peer-to-peer support meeting!
You are not alone
For decades, people have turned to PFLAG looking for support, resources, and answers to their questions.
Research has shown:
13 million people ages 13 and older in the U.S. identify as LGBTQ+
1 in 10 people in the U.S. personally knows someone LGBTQ+
1 in 3 people knows someone who is transgender
In other words, although it may not appear so, there are LGBTQ+ people all around, and there are families and allies that are supportive everywhere, too. Many who like you had to start the journey towards acceptance. You are not alone in this process.
Your reaction is valid
There is no universal right way to react to learning that your child or a loved one is LGBTQ+.
You may feel:
Happy that your child opened up to you
Relief that you know more about your child and can help them navigate the world with this information to guide them
Joy that your child is confident in their self-awareness
You may have more difficult or complex emotions feelings such as:
Fear for your loved one’s safety
Guilt thinking you may have somehow caused your loved one to be LGBTQ+
Sadness that you did not know without being told
Anger that your child did not tell them sooner
These are all normal feelings, and you may experience some, or all of them, simultaneously.
You are on a journey
Others have not only walked the path before you; many are traveling the same road right now, having a similar experience in their own family. Like every journey, this one will have its twists and turns. Addressing your reaction, responding to your child, learning about LGBTQ+ issues, and sharing this information with your family and friends takes time. Know that it is okay not to be okay immediately; change does not happen overnight. Take the time you need to explore your feelings. You can emerge from this period with a stronger relationship with your child than before, arriving in a better place than where you started. We believe by having support from other families; you will discover ways to be closer to your child and your family while finding a vibrant community of people you might never have known existed.
You are important
When you are with your loved ones, it is essential to put their needs first. But to be focused on their well-being, self-care is crucial; you must put on your oxygen mask before you can help your child with theirs. Even as you learn how best to support your child or loved one, you must also find support for yourself!
It's crucial; whether you feel isolated or nervous, or interested and excited to connect with other families:
to find and talk to people who have gone through what you're going through
have a safe place, especially if your emotions are less positive, to work through those feelings away from your child
have information and resources at your fingertips
Indy PFLAG exists and provides support groups for these reasons! Our meetings are a positive and confidential way to find people who have gone through similar experiences. Those in attendance and leading the meetings can point you towards crucial resources such as books to read, telephone helplines to call, websites to visit, movies to watch, and more.
FAQs about Peer-to-Peer Support
What is the purpose of the support group?
Our support group focuses on challenges and feelings associated with coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) and how it touches relationships with families, friends, and our larger communities. We understand that we are all here to understand better our own feelings about sexual orientation and gender identity and to support each other as we learn to embrace our own sexual orientation or gender identity, or that of our loved ones
Did you know?
Parents of transgender children continue to be who are coming to us for support. More than parents of gay, lesbian, or bisexual kids.
Are the support groups confidential?
Confidentiality is a top priority. Nothing said in this room (including virtual) will leave it, nor will people be pressed to share more information than they are comfortable with here or after the meeting.
Is there a facilitator?
Yes, there is a facilitator.
How do you provide support?
We provide support by listening carefully, sharing our own stories, and discussing our own problem-solving experiences. We are sensitive to each person's stage in the acceptance process.
What can I expect from a support group meeting?
We each speak from our own experiences and respect the experiences of others. We are supportive rather than confrontational. Anyone uncomfortable may make this known to the facilitator. Everyone has a chance to speak. Each person is responsible for being conscious of the amount of time they are using to ensure adequate time so that others may speak. No one person is permitted to monopolize the conversation. We are considerate of the group and do not have side discussions. Each person's remarks are essential to the whole group. Our primary concern is to create a supportive atmosphere for all group participants.
Disclaimer
We Do Not Provide Professional Advice
Indy PFLAG, its members, programs, or support groups (hereby referred to as Indy PFLAG) cannot replace or substitute for the services of trained professionals in any field, including medical or legal matters. Indy PFLAG is volunteer operated and its support groups are meant as a peer-to-peer safe space to share personal experiences. YOUR USE OF INDY PFLAG SERVICES DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MENTAL HEALTHCARE OR TREATMENT AND DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A THERAPIST-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP OR ANY SIMILAR PRIVILEGED RELATIONSHIP. INDY PFLAG IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE, MENTAL HEALTHCARE TREATMENT, PSYCHIATRIC CARE, OR THERAPY OF ANY KIND. We do not assume any liability for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary, or other damages that may result from your involvement in INDY PFLAG, including economic loss, injury, illness, or death.
INDY PFLAG is not intended for anyone in need of immediate medical services or in the case of a life-threatening emergency. IF YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE EXPERIENCING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, CALL YOUR DOCTOR OR 911 IMMEDIATELY OR VISIT THE NEAREST HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM.
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Peer-to-Peer & Family Resources